A Perspective on Parenting: For Parents and College Students

First of all, my apologies to my subscribers if you received yesterday's blog duplicated again today in your email box. I made some behind-the-scenes changes as required by one of my subscription services and it probably created this glitch. I will keep an eye on that and hope that it is resolved shortly.

Today's blog is unlike my usual daily postings. It is more of a perspective on parenting and being parented. I would be interested in hearing your thoughts. Read on.

I often find myself agonizing over the daily topic for my blog. I will compose 3 or 4 of them in my head before I sit down (and start bouncing - - see yesterday's blog) and put my fingers to the keyboard. My friends, in particular, who might share a concern, a worry, an idea, or an event happening in their college student's life, add to the long list of ideas I store in my "tickle file". These issues tend to be universal among a number of parents.

When my kids were home from college recently they both provided me with some constructive feedback and suggested I add more advice to my blog. Advice, really?! W o w, who thought my kids would actually be requesting more advice. As a parent, I felt as though I had truly arrived. (Thanks, Sarah and Dan!)

Despite having 2 kids in college, I still think of myself as a "new" parent. While that might sound implausible, I justify that with the fact that no matter what age my kids currently are, I have never been a parent to someone in that stage of life. I am learning as I go. There is no manual addressing my kids’ specific needs. I make plenty of mistakes, I'm sure. Sometimes the best way to learn how to parent is to let our kids guide us - - a little reverse parenting - - a lot more thinking before we broach a topic or respond to one. Not always easy or second nature. It sure seems easier if we could just jump right in and give them THE answer or make “it” right. That assumes, of course, that we even know what that answer is! Parenting, and trying to get it right, is no easy task.

For years, as parents, we focused on one of the ultimate goals: helping our kids to find the best college to meet their needs. Suddenly they were there and we wanted nothing more than for them to test the waters, while becoming more independent, all on the path to meeting their goals, as long as they call or email regularly, fill us in on ALL the news, let us know nearly their every move, eat breakfast as part of 3 healthy meals a day, get plenty of rest, make good choices for their future, wear that winter coat and boots we bought them, stay out of trouble, oh, and have fun and make it the best 4 years of your life........all because we love you.

Sometimes we all, parents and kids alike, need to step back from the moment and realize we are not infallible. While it might be hard for our kids to realize it, we are all a work in progress, learning and writing each chapter together as we go, figuring out how to parent our kids, while we continue to develop ourselves. I can't wait to read the next chapter. The characters are rich, and the storyline is captivating!

And by the way, when was the last time you called your mother? And, did you remember to ………………………..